And now for something completely different:

Each new section is an update.

There is no soap in any of the boys bathrooms at school!

Absolutely disgusting.

A rather awesome thing happened to me yesterday morning as I was driving to school. The odometer flipped from 99999 to 100000! I guess I didn't find it that exciting because I had forgotten about it the rest of the day until now.

I also found out today that I was accepted to the Cornell architecture summer thingy that I applied to. Yay. Speaking of architecture, my dad was being anal about me working with this architect for 2 weeks until outdoor track begins. Because I refused to make any effort to employ myself, he called the dude up and it turns out he doesn't require my services. Gus 1; Dad 0.

I'd feel even worse for the guy if all three of the girls were ugly. If I were in that situation I'd walk in and not say anything for a good, long, awkward moment of silence, turn around and walk out. End of show.

Among other things, I discovered the precise location of the internet. It is contained entirely within a tiny building at Taize, located in western France. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Internet:

You are here.

Mad libs are undoubtedly one of the best ways to pass the time at Taize. This one is legendary, because it spawned the use of "Throbbing, veiny, dick", now commonplace among American youths.

EAT, DRINK, AND BE SICK: An inspector from the Department of Health and Big Fat Donkey Dicks paid a surprise visit to our wet school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our stiff dietician, was spaghetti and wet diarreah-balls with a choice of either a throbbing, veiny, dick salad or french boobs. The inspector found the meat-dicks to be overcooked and discovered a live, hairy, lesbian in the fries, causing him to have a peehole ache. In response, he threw up all over his nuts. In his report, the inspector reluctantly reccommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious runny turds as well as low-calorie goat testicles, and that all of the saturated waffles be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria an X-minus.

Prom is the 24th. The girl(s) I was/were going to ask are no longer available. Looks like I'll be going this one alone.*

*Cue generic, angsty, emo song about being lonely.

-Marques "Slashes Bitches with his Sword" Word got the gold in the long jump.
-Bobby got the gold in the high jump and 3rd in the pole vault
-Tim got 3rd in the high jump
-Alex Coco got 4th in the 55m hurdles
-Ryan Bone and Big Joe got 3rd and 4th respectively in the shot put
-If you see Jordan Lysenko tell him he got 3rd in the 1600m
-The 4x800m team got 3rd
-The 4x holy shit dey fast 200m team got 4th

Yours truly ran a disappointing 55m hurdle race and came in 16th out of 25. Later in the 300m dash I ran a personal best of 39.63, narrowly beating a brookfield guy by .22 seconds and winning my heat. Unfortunately I still only placed 23rd out of 46. If you look at it one way, I'm faster than half the kids in class M. 16 of the 22 faster guys are seniors, meaning that if nobody gets significantly better I could place in the top 6 next year.

According to Paul Russo I ran a faster first lap of the 300 then Remi Ray?

Allen2039: dip dip
Allen2039: HATE
Allen2039: haha whats up dip dippen
Stratplayer525: charles dip dip allen set set
Allen2039: thats how you spell it dont forget where ya hurd it first mUTHAT FUCKA
Stratplayer525: bbdddat bdddaat
Stratplayer525: im gonna go
Stratplayer525: see ya
Allen2039: peace set

I'd like to thank my parents for letting me drive as much as possible and getting that extra experience, Giovanni for being the man and giving all "those guys" their just comeuppance. Good times Giovanni, I'll miss you. I'd also like to thank God for giving me the nice cranky DMV man instead of the cranky cranky DMV man with a stick up his bum. I'd like to thank my friends for not making fun of me that much after i failed the first test, and Jesus for teaching me how to back in park. I owe you one Jesus!*

*Blasphemy

The SMR team I was in placed 1st in our class (M), and 5th overall, so I get some hardware for that.

Complete results

Learn to Dance?

WTF? News of the Week

So anyways, im sitting there watching hundreds of emperor penguins marching in a single file line across the frozen wastes of Antarctica, and I'm thinking, "What's missing in this picture?"

The Greatest Race. Chaz Webb, it is your destiny.

Twenty years from now you will see these ads on your television. (Of course, by then televisions will be fused to our eyeballs and include complete HD programming. Telemundo in HD? Siiccckk...)

Props Tim for all Chuck Norris/ Vin Diesel inspiration

Another treasure from the depths of "my pictures"

Bullying, by Facebook.

JohnMac341: psh way to have a racist meal
JohnMac341: fish, ice cream, couscous is all white

First Tim, then Colin, now Kenny and CousinsLysenko. It's all gone to hell. Mase and I have no plans to retire. As a result of the sudden site-market crash, hits are down. Way down. I mean like ten hits a day down. To those ten, I salute you for your stalwart loyalty to GusLife.

Turns out Brant Hooks graduated last year, and I succeeded in making myself look like the town fool. But you knew that anyway. Funny right Colin? RIGHT? I'm ALWAYS FUNNY! WOO HOOOOOOOO! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. My 90 year old grandmother recently uttered from her dry wrinkly lips, much to my amusement.

Witnessed the Jets get their asses handed to them today coutesy of John Mac. Also witnessed an angry Jets fan attempt to tell the refs what to do. Thats always been one of my dreams too, if only I could make my voice louder than 5,000 people...oaf.

-This update brought to you by my stream of consciousness.

An old favorite.

Forgot to mention that yesterday we took a quiz in economics. Not just any old quiz. This was a Dasher classic: "Using 10 words or less, describe why Taylor Brown is so annoying." You were graded on how much it made him laugh.

In one of his more emo moves, Colin Greeny is "closing down", but we all know that he won't survive the shock that comes with what I call "tripod withdrawal".

North Lounge is gonna be featured in this month's Courant. Check out "Drummer Got Skillz" on el purevolume. If you couldn't guess from the name...its a 2 minute drum solo.

Watch out for this one. He goes for the nipples.

Stratplayer525: so whats new with you
JDA442: not too much, experimenting with acid

Luckily we didn't lose any body parts.

It is wyth much grayce and syncerytie that I hearby declareth an end to all Kenny bashing.

I don't even know how it started.